Love In The Time Of COVID

I've always felt emotion very keenly. There has never been a moment of it being... mild or something that was nuanced. It has always been big, bright and loud. A total feast or famine situation. Couple this with being a little bit of a hopeless romantic and it can lead to some rather disastrous heartbreak. I'm not saying this lead to my spur of the moment decision to get my nose pierced or the amount of utter abuse that my hair has taken from 40 volume bleach but I'm equally not disqualifying it entirely.

COVID really has made me re-evaluate what I want from a relationship. I had a 7-year long relationship end just before the first lockdown hit so I had a lot of time to ponder what went wrong and where I need to improve myself. Since then, I've been through another short-lived but crucial relationship that was a revelation in a lot of ways - making me realise what I need and should actually expect from a good relationship. It also broadened my horizons in a lot of ways.

Now is the winter of our discontent (thank you again, Billy Shakes) and the new variant of this damnable virus is looming over the festive period like a heavy shroud but among that bleakness... I dare say I might be falling for someone all over again. And fate, it seems, is determined to have a laugh at my expense once again.

I moved cities in the summer for work. There was a fair amount of going between involved as I got everything moved but I'm now back in my hometown of Bristol... which naturally means that I got talking to this guy when I visited Southampton - the city I had just moved from. Did I instantly curse for a profound amount of time at the top of my lungs? 

Yes I did.

But he is so sweet and so laidback. Talking to him is relaxing. We share the same music tastes and both have a fascination with the supernatural. He's interested in playing a TTRPG for the first time and I'm hopefully gonna run something next time I see him. He also has a warmth and compassion I rarely see day-to-day, which is nice and refreshing. And we are both wimps when it comes to horror movies.

With his work schedule being erratic and mine being an 8-5, its hard to work out when we next get to see each other. But the difference to previous people I've been interested in/have dated, is that this doesn't prove to be an issue. He is so relaxed about it and needs his space so the gap between visits works well. 

One can't help but wonder if this will end up being the thing that I secretly hope it will become but time will tell. As this damnable island still can't get it's shit sorted enough to deal with COVID, the possibility of seeing each other over New Year's looks a little uncertain. But we will figure something out. It just got me thinking about all the other people in the same boat as us - in that sea of uncertainty when trying to build something new. And I can't help but feel that, for once, their is a small, silvery glow of hope cresting the horizon.

Today was a good day, reader. If you couldn't already tell. Here's to many more. But now I must tend to the my least favourite task at this time of year: wrapping presents.

Come and have a cuppa with me sometime ^_^