Life is weird...
Don't worry I'll unpack that.
So... I'm what I call sort of single. There is a guy I like. We hang out, we get intimate but there's nothing official. We aren't exclusive and we haven't used terms like "boyfriend" or "partner". We're happy with how things are for now. And if I am honest, I don't think I want it to go beyond that. At least not yet.
Why is this important? Well, this is the first time in 9 years where I've actually felt comfortable in myself and with my own company when going to do things. Things I would usually have done with a partner. I've been going to the cinema alone, I've gone for meals alone, I've gone out and been places alone. That is something I've not done in a long time.
It's actually been a hell of a revelation. It does garner some weird looks when I'm sat in a restaurant with a bulky novel and a notebook with pens rested on top, using the opposite chair to lie my coat on. Not as many strange looks as I got earlier tonight for dipping waffle fries in my peanut butter milkshake but still.
I know I'm the sort of person who is better with a partner. I always have been. But this slightly ambivalent situation that I am in right now, which ordinarily would have driven me up the wall and caused a gnawing anxiety, has ended up being revolutionary... which I never expected when meeting this guy.
Ain't life weird sometimes?
On another note, this may be the last thing I post this year so I wish you all a wonderful and prosperous new year.
Come and have a cuppa with me sometime ^_^
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